Today is a pretty big day for me. It’s the day after my birthday, which means that I am a year older and still have accomplished next to nothing, still haven’t heard from my fiancé since she left me for the cabana boy, was sick all day yesterday because I think something was wrong with the cake, and I’m starting to get gray hair. The good news is that I played Monopoly for the first time yesterday, on the advice of a friend, and it was fun. I was never allowed to play as a kid because my parents were hippies and they said that Monopoly is bourgeoisie. Another positive is a casino promotion running at Lucky Red Casino.

Realizing that your life is going nowhere fast and that you have squandered every bit of talent that you have, accomplishing nothing that people wrote was expected of you in your high school yearbook, isn’t easy. In fact, to cope I’m drunk right now, but hopefully it’s not affecting my blogging.

Right now Lucky Red Casino is offering mid-week casino bonuses to give you a little more money to spend at the casino. This will be helpful if you didn’t waste all of your money by getting a useless degree in college that will lead to a job that doesn’t pay enough to move out of government-subsidized housing. The online casino is offering a 60% deposit match bonus for you to play slots or keno. Scratch cards, too, but who in the world plays those?

If you play other games instead, Lucky Red will still hook you up, because they are a lot more loyal and considerate than my ex. Blackjack and video poker players can get a 45% match bonus on their deposit. If you play any other table games, Lucky Red will match you 50%. Hey, they’re willing to meet you halfway, which is more than I can say for some people.

Maybe things will get better. Today I’m having sushi for the first time, which may or may not make me sick. My parents never let me eat sushi because they said it was bourgeoisie. Unless you’re Japanese. They thought it was okay then. Looking ahead, I see that there is a good casino bonus this weekend as well, so maybe that’s the bright side. Maybe not. Whatever.

If you have money leftover because you didn’t blow it calling a 1-900 phone number because you’re that desperate for companionship, you should visit Lucky Red Casino and take advantage of their deposit bonuses.

Tags: casino bonus, deposit bonus, depression, drunk blogging, Justin Bieber, Lucky Red Casino, match bonus, Monopoly