Archive for January, 2010
Love and Violence Featured at Sloto’ Cash
I’ve always felt that love and violence kind of go together. After all, in the animal kingdom, a man proves he’s worthy of being a woman’s mate by attacking, maiming and sometimes even killing every other male that’s interested. The toughest and meanest male survives. A more subdued version exists among humans, and it usually involves bar fights to protect their girl’s honor.
Violence also correlates to love because both involve a great deal of pain, bruising (such as of egos) and to the victor goes the spoils. Love is also very competitive, just like boxing.
Though it’s probably a coincidence, I would like to think this is why Sloto’ Cash Casino is debuting a boxing-themed slot game the same time as a love-themed game, just in time for Valentine’s Day next month.
The new boxing game is an online slot called Heavyweight Gold. It is a 5-reel, 20-payline slot featuring symbols of weights, first aid kits, a title belt, a boxer and more. The game can be played in denominations ranging from $.01 to $.10.
The game is a good escape for anyone who has ever fantasized about bludgeoning another person in the name of money. For people who would rather bludgeon another person in the name of love, then For Love & Money is your game. This is a 5-reel, 15-payline online slot that features an old-fashioned love story, with love letters written on scrolls with a quill pen, Cupid, and some literal “love birds.”
It’s the kind of game that makes a cynic like me want to puke. Well, eating Taco Bell earlier has a little to do with that as well. For fans of romance, though, it should be an enjoyable game. I don’t know. I’ll ask my ex if she and her new man like it.
Anyway, the game will be featured prominently as we get closer to Valentine’s Day, that holiday that inspires countless men to buy the same things as all of the other men to prove that they are good boyfriends and truly do love and appreciate their girls.
To play either of the featured online slots, visit Sloto’ Cash Casino today.
EU Hands Down Big Decision in Gambling Case
The European Union (EU) Advocate General handed down a landmark decision this week, one that will impact the entire European online gambling industry. In the ruling, the EU AG stated that the EU law holds primacy over national law. He stated that this is true without exception and said that no transitional period would be allowed for the countries with conflicting laws to conform their laws with those of the EU. This affects all aspects of European legislation, of course, not just gambling.
Here’s how it happened. Many European countries have laws that establish nationally-run monopolies, crowing out our completely disallowing competition from outside their borders. One specific case, involving a German online gaming company called Winner Wetten, was brought before the Court of Justice of the EU (CJEU). Winner Wetten takes bets from a company based in Malta. After a dispute arose concerning the rules and regulations that apply to Winner Wetten, German’s Court in Cologne asked the EU to look into the matter. They also asked for a transitional period for nations to bring their own laws in line with the EU.
The EU said their laws trump any laws of individual nations and that all national laws must currently be consistent with that of the EU. No transitional period is allowed. Is anyone actually surprised that the EU said that the EU is in change? When else do you ask such a thing? It seems like you should go above the EU to ask that question, though I don’t know who that would be. It just seems ridiculous to question whether the EU laws have authority over your laws and to ask that question of the EU!
Maybe it’s just me. So yes, it is now confirmed that the EU law has primacy over national laws, according to the guy who oversees EU laws. This ruling will likely lead to a lot of changes, one being that European countries will have to end their policies of excluding foreign casinos from their market. It’s a scenario worth keeping an eye on.
How I Would Improve Online Slots: Part Two
Yesterday I proposed one improvement that could be added to online slots to make the experience more fun: a virtual supportive friend. I think it’s a great way to motivate and encourage a player, which is something you normally don’t get when playing slots online.
Another thing that would make online slots better is if they were in 3-D. Think about it: 3-D slots. 3-D is all the rage right now. Consider that James Cameron’s Avatard has made rougly $1 billion, despite being a cheesy movie about blue aliens and an absurd script that matches the child-friendly propaganda in Ferngully with the natives-are-noble but white-man-is-evil sentiment of Dances with Wolves. No one cared that the story seemed like it was written by a ten-year-old for a class project (or worse yet, by George Lucas). They only cared that it was in 3-D and had really bright colors.
Online slots can be improved by going with what worked in Avatard. Think of it. You can watch the symbols pop out at you. Maybe you would have the illusion of actually reaching out and grabbing the arm to spin the slot. If it’s a superhero theme, you can experience flying with the superhero with a 3-D environment around you. A sports-themed slot? Even better in 3-D! Take a swing at a fastball coming at you and if you hit a home run you get a free spin. The possibilities are endless.
Many slot machines in brick and mortar casinos no longer give out coins when you win. Instead, they print out tickets or have other ways of crediting your account. That’s simply not as much fun. I liked the old days when the machine would literally start spitting coins out onto the floor and you excitedly scooped them up into your bucket. That is an excitement that has always been left out of the online slot experience. However, with 3-D slots, you could watch the coins get spit out of the machine and toward you. They would then pile on the floor in front of you. It would be the next best thing to actually playing in a casino.
I don’t know how long it would take for a good 3-D online slot to be developed, but I have to believe the technology is there. It might be expensive, but it’s there. Once can only hope it’s coming to an online casino soon.
Last Week for $100K Tourney at Super Slots
So far, 2010 has been off to a better start than 2009 for me. That’s mostly because it would be almost impossible for the year to be worse. So far this year I have yet to get dumped, get a disheartening phone call from my doctor, wreck my car or lose my job, so it’s definitely an improvement.
Not everyone has the same experience, though. Maybe some people think that 2010 is off to a rough start. For those people, I’m assuming you haven’t won $100,000 by playing slot machines yet this year. Well, if that’s the case, don’t blame Super Slots Casino, because they’re giving that money away!
Super Slots Casino is clearly in a giving mood right now. Earlier this week they gave away half of the credits earned by VIPPLAN members to the Haiti relief effort. Now they’re giving away money to the players of an online slot tournament.
Super Slots Casino has started the new year off with their Cool Winnings tournament, which has a cash prize pool of $100,000. The tournament began at the start of the year and runs until January 31. Therefore, if you haven’t gotten into the tournament yet, time is running out!
At the end of the online slot tournament, Super Slots Casino is giving away $50,000 to the first-place finisher, $20,000 to the second-place finisher and $7500 to the player in third place. The rest of the winners, all the way through position number 275, will take home lesser prizes. Even the player who finishes in 275th place will win back their $10 entry fee, though, making it basically a free game.
Each player starts with $100 to play with and can rebuy for $10. At the end of the month, prizes will be awarded to the top 275 players in points. To take a crack at a cool 100 grand, stop by Super Slots Casino before it’s too late.
Online Slots for the iPad
In case you missed it, today Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple’s new tablet product for the world to see, causing all the tech geeks to iGasm. The new device, unfortunately named the iPad, combines the coolest features of an iPhone and iPod Touch with a small, portable computer like a netbook.
What interests me about it, though, is its potential for playing mobile slots. I love playing online slots, but sometimes you want to play when you’re away from the computer. That’s where the mobile casinos come in. Using a smartphone, such as an iPhone, you can log onto a mobile casino and play slots to your heart’s content. It is a great way to pass the time when you’re away from home or the office and waiting. There is one major drawback to playing online slots on your phone, though: The screen is small.
I don’t have the best eyesight in the world, so squinting at a tiny screen while I watch the symbols on the reels and try to determine what’s going on can sometimes be a problem. With the iPad, however, you can play your favorite games without straining your eyes. Maybe they will even come up with some cool iPad-exclusive features for the slots, such as tipping it to spin the reels instead of pushing a button. Or since it’s a touch-screen, maybe you can point to the lever of the machine and drag it down as if you’re actually pulling a physical arm. The possibilities are endless and someone with a better grasp of the iPad or technology in general can certainly come up with better ideas than what I have mentioned.
I don’t know what is in store for the future of online slots, but I have to figure they will continue to get better. As gadgets like the iPad become more popular, online casinos will start catering to people who have the device, in the same way that the popularity of the iPhone led to a large number of casinos going mobile. Whatever happens, the future is wide open for the world of online slots and I am excited to see what comes.
How I Would Improve Online Slots: Part One
I love playing slot machines. It’s my favorite game in the casino, and playing online slots helps me pass the time and endure many moments that otherwise would have been pretty dull. Partly it’s because my girlfriend left me for a cabana boy in Mexico, she took “our” car with her, and I’ve been left with few options for ways to entertain myself. Even if I had a life, though, I would still love to hit the slots. Even something I love, though, can always be improved. Here is the first part in what will be a recurring series of ways that I would improve online slots.
A virtual supportive friend: When you go to a brick and mortar casino, you can go with your friend and have that friend support you while you play. It makes the game more enjoyable. When you play online, though, you’re on your own, unless you invite your friend over to watch you play games on your computer. And if you do, you need another hobby. Go out! Have fun! Playing on the computer is what you do if you can’t get a friend to come over!
Anyway, my idea is to have a virtual supportive friend. This would be an avatar that stands next to the online slot and interacts with you while you play. If you’re losing, your virtual friend, or vriend for short, will comfort you:
“Hey, man, don’t worry about it. Bad luck on that spin, but you still have $___ left. You have plenty of chances to make your money back.”
If you lose all of your money, your vriend can give you a big, consoling hug and then buy you a drink to take your mind off of the game. The vriend can also offer you encouragement, saying that “you had a bad time today, but next time you could win a lot of money. Since it’s all chance, you never know!” You can also make your virtual friend the same sex as you or the opposite. If you’re really down after losing a lot of money, your vriend can buy you drinks and take you back to his/her place.
If you’re winning, though, your virtual friend takes on a different role. Your vriend helps you celebrate. You can pre-select a certain personality type for your vriend. You can make your vriend a frat boy and he will celebrate your winning spin by holding up a beer bong for you, doing a drunken dance, or saying this like “Wha-paw! You just kicked that slot’s *ss!”
You can make your vriend a gold-digger who will ask if you’re going to spend the winnings on her. You can make your vriend a street performer who does a freestyle rap when you win. Pretty much anything is in play here. You can make your vriend a cowboy who politely tips his hat and says “congratulations.” You can make your vriend like an annoying character Jack Black would play, who overreacts to everything and is incredibly over the top. Or you can do anything in between.
A virtual friend to support you in good times and bad will make playing online slots more interactive and more enjoyable. I don’t know if this will happen anytime soon, but I can only hope. In the meantime, I’ll have to continue annoying my friends by sending a lot of text messages when I play.
English Harbour Casino Hosting Freeroll Tournament
As I have stated before, slot tournaments are one of the most exciting things about an online casino. There’s just something about taking a game of leisure and suddenly making it into a competitive activity where every second counts and prize money is at stake. The best tournaments of all, of course, are freeroll tournaments, because they don’t cost the members any money to enter or play. There is zero risk for freeroll tournaments and you still have the possibility of making money at the end.
This month, English Harbour Casino is holding a freeroll online slot tournament called the Free Weekend Madness $50K New Years Celebration. The tournament runs from January 22 to January 26. The tournament is played on a game called Karaoke Cash, a five-reel, 20-payline slot with a musical theme. It is a game that celebrates the joy and excitement of getting drunk and singing off-key in front of your friends. In other words, it’s a great game.
The best part of this Free tournament is the price: nothing! This isn’t like the gym membership that doesn’t have a joining fee but does charge you to sign up. It’s not even like that free concert I went to once that cost $15 (I still haven’t been able to figure that one out). It’s not even like the free things that the government provides that are paid for by you and every other taxpayer. This free tournament is truly free. You don’t have pay a cent to play.
When entering the tournament, you are given 80 chips to play with. If you run out and want to keep playing the slot, however, you can rebuy for a cost of $12.99.
D’oh! I guess there is something that isn’t free. Of course, you don’t have to rebuy; it is only an option. If you chose to do so, though, it could increase your chances of winning part of a $50,000 prize. Not too shabby. If you think of it this way, the $12.99 is cheaper than the entry fee for a lot of these tournaments. Anyway, I guess this freeroll is sort of free.
To take part in the tournament, visit English Harbour Casino today.
Hundreds Get Sick at NC Casino
Folks, this is another reason that I prefer to do my gambling online. I have previously written about the advantages of playing online rather than in a casino, which includes having fewer distractions and getting to play in your underwear, among other things. Now here’s one I didn’t even think of: You can avoid catching a contagious virus from other players.
Approximately 250 people have gotten sick from a stomach virus after playing at a casino in Cherokee, North Carolina. A spokesman for Harrah’s Cherokee Casino and Hotel, Charles Pringle, stated that the virus causing all of the problems is a norovirus. The norovirus is an RNA virus that causes approximately 90% of the non-bacterial outbreaks of gastroenteritis around the world. It’s also transmitted one of two ways: by person to person contact and by faecally contaminated food and water. Eww….
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to stay at a hotel or casino that has a problem with feces coming in contact with their food and water. Now, to be fair, I visit Cherokee regularly and find it to be a nice, clean town, but their Harrah’s casino is clearly having problems right now.
Norovirus outbreaks tend to happen in places where large groups of people gather in confined spaces and are most common in schools and on cruise ships. I guess now we can add casinos to the list. Luckily, the virus is rarely deadly. Those infected usually show symptoms of cramping, dehydration, vomiting and diarrhea. In other words, it’s kind of like what happens when you eat Taco Bell.
In response to the outbreak, which is believed to be from January 12, casino employees are disinfecting the whole casino. The casino is still open, but workers are cleaning the slot machines with bleach every two hours. Every hour, they sanitize door knobs, handrails, restrooms and anything else that people commonly touch, thus hopefully avoiding the person-to-person method of transmission. I certainly hope the other form of transmission has already been taken care of.
I’m not going to tell you not to visit brick and mortar casinos or even to steer clear of those in Cherokee. What I will say, though, is that you’re significantly less likely to catch a norovirus by playing online slots on your home computer. And if you do, you really need to wash your hands better.
Super Slots Providing Relief to Haiti
Too often, casinos are seen in a negative light. Those who are against gambling think that casinos are evil companies that take ordinary people, corrupt them and turn them into degenerate gambling addicts. Even those who enjoy gambling often see the casinos as greedy organizations that want to take their money. They are seen as the enemy by many gamblers – it’s the gamblers vs. the casinos.
The truth is that they’re just another company trying to make money. I am a capitalist and see nothing wrong with trying to make a profit. I don’t fault Wal-Mart, oil companies or banks for that and I don’t fault casinos for it, either. People tend to focus on their revenue and not the good things that they do. The recent tragedy in Haiti has caused a lot of people and companies to show their true colors and for most, the colors they showed have been good. Last week, Bodog made a significant contribution to the Haiti relief efforts. Now Super Slots casino is doing so as well.
Up until midnight on January 24, all VIPPLAN reward points accumulated by players will help make an impact in Haiti. Super Slots casino will donate 50% of the reward points earned to the American Red Cross. Members of VIPPLAN reward points for every game they play, so that money can really add up.
To make sure your game playing is benefiting the people of Haiti, become a member of VIPPLAN (it’s free), go to Super Slots casino and get your game on. It is one of the most fun charitable donations you can make.
Sloto’ Cash’s Wacky Wedding Game
Women love weddings, especially if they get a little crazy. That would explain why nearly every sitcom in recent memory has had a huge wedding episode (often as the series finale). It explains why there are so many terrible wedding shows on TLC, Lifetime and those other channels that women watch. There are few things in worse than being a guy forced to watch those wedding shows with his girlfriend. Maybe it’s getting us back for making them watch football. I don’t know.
Well, there have been online slots themed after male interests for a long time. There are countless slots themed after sports, cars, action movies, superheroes and more. The games based on female interests have been few and far between. Sloto’ Cash Casino is doing their part to change that.
The online casino is releasing a new Rival Gaming slot called Wacky Wedding, which will be available February 2. The online slot has a fun wedding theme with quirky characters, including a nervous groom who seems to have cold feet and jealous bridesmaids. It doesn’t include some of my worst wedding memories, though, such as grandparents dancing to “YMCA” (or anyone dancing to “YMCA,” for that matter), the drunken uncle slurring his speech and spilling his drink on you, or your girlfriend passing not-too-subtle hints that she expects you to pop the question sometime soon.
The game is a five-reel, 20-payline online slot that can be played in denominations ranging from £0.01 to £0.10 per line. Wacky Wedding has various bonus features, such as the ability to win up to 75 free spins and multipliers.
If you’re in the mood for an online slot with a wedding theme, than Sloto’ Cash casino is the place to be next month. Just please don’t use that game as a way to pressure your boyfriend into proposing. We all hate the wedding guilt-trip.